Support for parents of children with SEN

Being the parent of a child with special educational needs can be challenging.

It can be stressful, lonely and isolating, but you are not alone. There are thousands of parents experiencing similar situations.

Today we look at what support is available for SEN parents.

The stress of being a SEN parent

Parents of SEN children deal with higher levels of stress and anxiety on a daily basis compared to parents of non-SEN children. In fact, one study showed that mothers of autistic children showed cortisol (stress hormone) levels similar to that of combat veterans.

What causes this increase in stress?

• Lack of support and access to services

Everything from getting a diagnosis to seeking specialist support services like occupational or speech therapy comes with a long-waiting list and parents often find themselves having to fight for their child’s right to access the services they need. Many parents feel abandoned after diagnosis with no support.

• Education battles

Unfortunately, getting the support your child needs at school can feel like a battle and the process of getting an Education Health Care Plan can be long and stressful.

•  Financial worries

Research has shown that raising a child with SEN can be up to three times more expensive than raising a child without SEN. In addition, many parents have to cut back their working hours or even give up work to care for their child, adding to their financial pressures.

• No time for self-care

Children with SEN often require a lot more parental support for a longer time. This could include anything from support at mealtimes, bedtime and getting dressed, to homework and emotional support. It leaves little downtime for parents to look after themselves and do things they enjoy.

• Sleep and behaviour issues

Dealing with daily behavioural challenges and difficulties with sleeping can be exhausting physically and mentally for parents.

• Relationship problems

SEN parents have less time to work on other relationships, including with their partner, friends and other children. This can add to feelings of isolation, guilt, resentment and loneliness.

• The mental load

SEN parents are often in a state of ‘high alert’, constantly thinking ahead, planning, researching, worrying and feeling judged.

(This is not an exhaustive list – there are many more contributing factors too!)

Taking care of yourself

• Have a break

This is a lot easier said than done but it is important to look after your own health and well-being. As the saying goes, you can’t help someone with their life jacket if you are drowning yourself. Don’t be embarrassed or feel guilty to ask for a break and spend some time doing what you need/want to do, whether that’s a night out with friends or simply going to bed for an hour or two.

If you don’t have the support of friends and family, look into local respite services and charities that can help.

• Address your mental health

If you feel the stress and anxiety is affecting your day-to-day life, talk to your GP to find out what support or treatment is available. It is very common for SEN parents to need mental health support and there is no shame in it.

Organisations that can help

• SEND Local Offer

Search for your area’s ‘SEND Local Offer’, which offers information about all health, education and social care support in your region.

• Diagnosis-specific charities

Contact your local charity for regional support, groups and advice, particularly for parents. There are many social media communities, run by SEN parents for SEN parents, which can also be a good source of support, advice and compassion.

• Financial help

Look into Disability Living Allowance for Children (DLA), Personal Independence Payments (PIP), Carer’s Allowance and the Family Fund as sources of financial support and grants. We have a brand new podcast episode about DLA which will be released on the 19th August 2024.

About Geldards SEN

Our team of SEN law specialists can support your child/young person through their educational journey.

You can find out more about how we can support you here.

Access to our top tips and sharable information, follow us on social media! @GeldardsSEN on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter/X.

Alternatively, you can listen to our SEN Talks podcast here, where Adam and Salise discuss all things SEN with some incredible guests.